So ¿what is so “natural” about Nature making a baby wake up every 45 minutes at night? Hey, I’m big on all things natural. We tried to have our first son at home (adventures of “almost having the baby in the ambulance” have been blogged about before), I try to go for organics every time it’s possible, I even did the cloth diapers for a looong time, plus Mr. L (first born) was breastfed until 2. But really, unless Nature has a plan to take away my kid while I doze off trying to get stuff done, what is the idea? And don’t get me started with the “oh well, back in the day women didn’t have to work” crap. Women were always in charge and even if they were “lucky” enough to relax with the baby hanging from the boob 24/7 while being catered to, what if they fell asleep on them and crushed them? I know, did I have to be so GRAPHIC? Well, yes. That is who I am. Everything you say, EVERYTHING, is immediately converted to image in my brain, but I digress.
I see zero, zip, nada practical about all that waking up. Every night I go to bed fantasizing about sleeping for 5 hour stretches but, by the time I wake for the third time, the fantasies go dark, way out there where my husband wakes with me every time, he doesn’t snore and he’s grown humongous boobs that the baby prefers. Sometimes the baby is not a human baby anymore but a little monkey I can put back on a tree outside when I don’t want to be cute and snuggle with a plushy animal.
Yes, I understand I’m not the only one. Heck, this is not my first time as a mom but I figured I paid my dues with number one (we didn’t get him to sleep the night until well after his second birthday) and I would get one of those mythological creatures that sleep through the night right out of the womb. BS, right? Wait! I get it! This is that whole zombie thing people are talking about. No wonder I feel like I want to eat normal, 8 hour sleepers’ heads off!