If you are a creative of any kind you know that art, creativeness sometimes (a lot of times) comes from others’ creations, that to see, copy and emulate what you like is a big part of being an artist. From there you move on to make it your own (if you are really good). There is something about that feeling of “wait a minute, I can do that”, about that moment when you immerse yourself in somebody else’s work, that moment when you get an idea, when you know you are a creative.
I’ve always doubted myself. My father was an old school graphic artist, sign maker. My brother is an amazing illustrator and so was my ex-boyfriend. Being near talented people is a good thing but it can be hard. It is impossible not to compare yourself to others. These days though, I believe that that doubt, comparing my work with others, was a positive. Like a catholic that has overcome guilt, a mom that has gone through the first months of nursing, like a scar that has become sexy, it is part of the process.
So like any other process it can be painful, difficult, frustrating, confusing, tiring but in the end the result might be worth it all.
Lately, I’ve been getting back to my process, to designing like “one should”, brainstorming, researching, sketching… instead of just punching the keyboard and masturbating the mouse when a client gives me a project. It has proven to be enlightening, giving me a little tickle like a forbidden kiss can, but like a love affair, finding the time and the right moments can be challenging. And the guilt comes back when it is your family that is waiting while you are in dreamland thinking of logos, type and color combinations. The boobs start to remind you you are still a mom nursing and the scars and worry lines, together with all the gray hairs coming from all parts become, well, just what they are, all sexiness aside.